This is what I read first thing after I woke up this morning...

"Sisters attacked with acid"

"Rape victim forced to marry attacker"

It really breaks my heart when people try to convince me that feminists achieved equality decades ago by discounting what is happening in other countries.

All women are different, but none is more important than another.

Europe

So in June-July I spent four weeks in England, France, Germany and the Netherlands. Apart from my 6 hour stopover in Doha, Qatar where I felt SO out of place and unwanted, I was excited to see the feminist groups are so much more active over there! Makes me realise how much Melbourne and the rest of Aus needs to catch up. Anyway, here are some photos of the awesome things feminists are doing over there!

"PRIME Minister Julia Gillard was stopped from getting on a bus with other foreign leaders at a Pacific Islands forum in New Zealand - and told by the driver to get on the bus for spouses instead."


Oh, of course.

'Cos women aren't supposed to be leading countries... Right?

At Home with...Sexism?

Sometime this week, the ABC is premiering a new show- At Home with Julia. The show is based around Australia's first female Prime Minister and what she gets up to at home. One of the "sneak previews" I have seen features the lead actress (and her bad accent) talking about making her partner breakfast.

Wow. Riveting.

Out of all the members of Parliament, Gillard is probably one of the least interesting. If the ABC wanted to make a program about a politicians personal life, it would have been much easier (and funnier) to focus on someone more inappropriately outspoken like Tony Abbott or Bob Katter.

So why then focus on Gillard? It's not because she's the Prime Minister because no other PM in the past has been subjected to an entire TV show mocking them.

Sure, I remember Rove Live satirising then-PM Kevin Rudd a few years ago. But that wasn't about his home life. If anything, he was portrayed as a superhero (albeit a dysfunctional one).

No, AHWJ exists because Gillard is *gasp* a woman.

In seeking to portray Gillard at home, the program lessens her credibility as a Prime Minister and also (whether intentionally or not) makes the claim that, as a woman, Gillard belongs at home heating up cereal in a microwave rather in Parliament leading a country.

Whether or not you’re in the minority of voters who still prefer Gillard and Labor to be in power, does nothing to diminish the fact that Gillard deserves the same amount of respect afforded to the men who have had her job in the past.

Breaking out of boxes and shaking the ground

The following letter, written by Melissa Wardy, was posted here on Ms Magazine.

How the hell could I not reshare it?

***

Dear Bella,

Your mom told me all about your awesome blue shoes. I like blue. My little girl, Amelia, she loves blue because it is the color of the ocean. But if you asked her, she would tell you her favorite color is rainbow. Rainbows are so nice because they include all of the colors.

I heard from your mom that someone at school said your shoes were for boys. Maybe because they were blue or maybe because Buzz Lightyear was on them. At our house, we say, “Colors are for everyone.” Sometimes people get mixed up about that because they don’t think about it very hard. That makes me feel frustrated. All you have to do is look around the world and know that colors are for everyone.

But Bella, isn’t that silly! How could your blue Buzz Lightyear shoes be for boys if colors are for everyone and Buzz Lightyear is from a movie made for all kids and you are a girl standing in those shoes! I think people get confused about that, because they think something is only for boys because they never took the time to consider girls. I think people should consider girls.

Since you are four years old, you know a lot of stuff, and you know that girls can like or do anything boys can. And boys can like or do anything girls can. Things are kind of silly right now because grown ups keep getting in the way of kids, and some grown ups who are in charge of the companies that make stuff for kids like toys and clothes, they don’t have good imaginations like you and I do. These grown ups try to fit kids into little boxes that are labeled “Boy” or “Girl”, and then they only let certain colors or ideas into each box. They do that because it makes it easier for them to sell their stuff. Since boys and girls don’t grow in boxes, you can see how really goofy this is. But I have to be honest with you, there are a lot of grown ups who don’t question these pink and blue boxes, and then they teach that thinking to their kids, and then their kids lose their imaginations. Those are the kinds of kids who say stuff to you at school about your blue shoes.

Bella, your blue shoes are double scoop awesome, it is just that people have lost their imaginations. Little girls like you, with sparks in their eyes and fires in their hearts, you challenge what they think and expect from girls and they don’t know what to do. You make people think harder and that scares them.

The thing is, Little Girlfriend, that people have become so narrow-minded about what girls can do or what girls can like that real girls like you and like my Amelia don’t fit into their little pink boxes. You pop right out of them. Rip them at the corners. Knock the top right off.

And you should. There is nothing in this world that is off limits to you. There is no space nor dream nor challenge that you can’t conquer. There is no set of rules you must follow, no appropriate way to act. There is no person who holds the right to tell you what to think. You, Bella, are the great-great-granddaughter of a generation of women who fought like heroes to make sure there were no more pink boxes to stuff little girls into. Somewhere along the way, we forgot those lessons and grown ups let things get messed up.

Bella with your blue shoes, we really need girls like  you. We need you to remind people what real little girls are like. We need you to remind people that little girls can do anything. I’ll tell you a secret, and you can tell your mom, but I think if grown ups got out of the way of little girls, little girls would have the space to become so amazing and so powerful the Earth would shake right to it’s core and when the ground moves, all those people who lost their imaginations would fall right over.

So Kiddo, next time someone says something to you about something you like, or a color you are wearing or what you look like, just politely remind them they have lost their imaginations. Rude comments will come your way and you just need to brush them away like a bothersome fly. The problem is not you, the problem is them and the limitations they do not challenge.

In fact, take a look at all of these girls, just like you, proving them wrong. Take a look at these girls, because you fit right in. You fit right in.

Make the ground shake, Baby Girl.

Love, Melissa

Banned Ad

The Advertising Standards Board have banned this new ad for clothing store Roger David because it featured a young girl who had been gagged and had a barcode with the word "slave" on her shoulder...

What's worse is that Roger David have continued to defend the ad saying that "The woman used in the campaign was 18 years of age at the time that the photograph of her was shot. She is a student of History, Spanish, and English, and is also a model in the United Kingdom."

However I fail to see how her life story has anything to do with the fact that the New Love Club label chose to depict her as what the ASB has described as "an object".

As one of the complaints against the ad states "It is offensive due to its representation of young girls as vulnerable and slaves and lacks sensitivity to the growing child exploitation and sexist depiction of girls and women"

Atleast the ASB showed some sense in banning it.

Read more about it here

This post will be my last official contribution to The Friedan Project so I thought I’d conclude it with what I have taken away from my experiences in researching and writing about this important topic.

My main inspiration for this project came from my family and my experiences growing up. I grew up surrounded by strong women- my two grandmothers (one loving and kind, and the other full of attitude and stories of adventure) and my almost regal great-grandmother. Add to this equation my selfless, hard working mum and it’s easy to see why I was arguing for equal rights from the dinner table from a young age. I never saw any reason why women couldn’t do anything men could do because all I knew were strong, independent, amazing women.

What really stirred me into starting this project though were two things:

Firstly, the lecture that I spoke about in my first post which is still stuck in my mind years later.

And secondly, a series of conversations I had with my grandmothers over Christmas last year which I also mentioned in my first post.

When I started The Friedan Project I had countless questions in my head that I wanted to explore and answer:

·        What is a feminist?

·        Does society still need feminism?

·        Am I a feminist?

I was able to answer these questions fairly early on:

·        A feminist is someone who believes in “equal rights and opportunities for women”.

·        Society will need feminism for as long as sexism exists, perhaps longer

·        Yes

From here, I went on to explore deeper into feminism than I had anticipated I would. It became an impulse to read everything I could find, to make up my mind about it, and to write. I am especially proud that I was able to write on such issues as victim-blaming, the sex industry and sterilisation as these are huge problems for so many women (and men) which haven’t been dealt with in the public sphere.

In my blog posts, I also included a lot of my own experiences. I chose to do this because I wanted to show how sexism is prevalent in most women's every day experiences- it’s not just something found in feminist texts from the ‘60s.

While I am proud of what I have achieved, I think that there were a few weaknesses in the project. For example, when I first started I felt like everything I wrote had to be an intensively researched, essay-like post which probably made everything sound a bit forced. As the project continued though, it became a much more natural process and I wasn’t afraid of posting up short blogs about a particular news article I may have found that day. If I could do the project over again, I would definitely approach it with a much more relaxed attitude.

Overall though, The Friedan Project turned out better than I had hoped. So much so that the conclusion of my media project class probably won’t mean the end for this blog.

The Friedan Project ignited something in me that I don’t think will be that easily extinguished. It gave me a creative outlet where I could read and write whatever I wanted whilst still passing it off as “study”- a refreshing change for a third year uni student.

But more than this, it helped me to straighten out my thoughts and organise my beliefs into something which feels much more meaningful than it did before. As Betty Friedan once said “The only way for a woman, as for a man, to find herself, to know herself as a person, is by creative work of her own. There is no other way”. The Friedan Project has done this for me.

It has given me a new identity as a feminist. It has made me feel as though I am part of something greater than myself- a movement that, as I learnt, is still moving and growing.

It did take a while to get to this new identity. One issue that I had when I started writing was that I felt as though I was all alone. Sure, there were a few old “classics” on my bookshelf (The feminine mystique and the second sex of course) and there were a few American websites I found, but there was nothing close-by to identify with. Nothing that was really “me”.

This started to change when I found the equality illusion by Kat Banyard which I have referenced a great number of times in my posts already. This book is much more modern and seemed to be echoing the same questions I had. But still, it was mostly based on British research, British interviews and British feminisms. I could find nothing Australian to identify with.

In more recent weeks however, the SlutWalk phenomenon has taken off in Australia and today, I went along to the one in Melbourne.

I have to say, it wasn’t quite what I expected. The media reports had made it sound like it was going to be filled with fishnet stockings and short skirts but it really wasn’t. Sure, there were a few people who dressed as outrageously as they could but overall most people were just in their everyday clothes.

There was also a much wider range of people than I expected. It wasn’t just the young and idealistic uni students like me- there were people of all ages, from all backgrounds and all sexualities. I was also very happy to see so many men supporting the cause.

By far the most overwhelming part however was the number of people that attended. Sitting here blogging from my home it’s easy to feel very alone in this movement but the SlutWalk today showed me that I am far from being alone in my beliefs. There were literally thousands and thousands of people taking to the streets today demanding an end to victim-blaming and slut-shaming.

Finally, Australia stood up and showed me that feminism isn’t dead in this country. It’s alive and well- it just took it’s time.

The event didn’t go off completely problem-free however. When the SlutWalkers made their way past Parliament, two lonely figures stood on the steps holding signs quoting the bible’s demand for women to dress modestly. The signs were soon torn from their hands and they were escorted away by police. This protest wasn’t the place to be messing with women. We were empowered and marching in our thousands against the very viewpoint that these two individuals were advocating for. They were never going to silence our calls.

I am also a bit disheartened by the media coverage of the event. There might have been a lot of it but most of it completely missed the point of the protest. The media has blamed the cold weather for the fact that most of the walkers were in jeans and jackets rather than the miniskirts they had anticipated. But the point of the SlutWalk was that we should be able to wear whatever we want so it was sad that the emphasis of the coverage was still on the way we dressed rather than the issue of victim blaming. I suppose this was to be expected after the event was given such a controversial name but it is frustrating nonetheless.

Even after the poor quality of media coverage and the clash on the steps of parliament, the day was still an outstanding success.  The organisers, speakers and SlutWalkers should be very proud of themselves for bringing feminism back to the streets of Melbourne when I was all but convinced it had died out long ago.

For this feminist, The SlutWalk was an energizing experience and I hope the many other thousands of people there today feel the same way. This is just the beginning of something.

For those who may have followed The Friedan Project, I hope that what I have had to say has given you something to think about. If you’re interested in finding out more about feminism or about what to do if you feel you have been discriminated against, the following links may provide you with a place to start.

Feminist websites:

http://www.thefword.org.uk/

http://www.object.org.uk/

http://www.feminist.com/

http://msmagazine.com

http://www.mathaba.net/www/feminist/index.shtml

Where to go for help:

http://www.lawstuff.org.au/topics/discrimination/article2/what-can-i-do-if-i-have-been-discriminated-against-or-harassed-at-work

http://www.dvirc.org.au/

Getting men involved:

http://www.antipornmen.org/

http://www.menengage.org/

I think it is fitting to conclude The Friedan Project with a couple of quotes from Betty Friedan herself:

“A girl should not expect special privileges, because of her sex, but neither should she "adjust" to prejudice and discrimination.”

“A woman has got to be able to say, and not feel guilty, 'Who am I, and what do I want out of life?' She mustn't feel selfish and neurotic if she wants goals of her own, outside of husband and children.”

 The responsibility of finding out what we are missing out on is ours.

The responsibility of bringing about equality is ours.

We need to fight for it like we have never fought for anything before.

The men's movement

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote this after a discussion with my dad about mens perception of feminism.

According to my dad, most males feel threatened by feminism and I think that this is it's greatest weakness. Not only do we need men on our side if anything is going to change (most of the law-makers are men, afterall) but the feminist movement needs to be much more open and highlight the fact that it's not an exclusive club for "man-hating" women- it's something for everyone.

The fact is, inequality doesn't just affect women.

Take this article for example. It outlines new research which not only shows that men are having to work longer hours, but that they are feeling guilty for it and are missing out on the family time that they long for.

With gender equality we would have more flexible work hours for both men and women. This would mean that these families could divide the work more equally between the parents and no-one would have to miss out on seeing their kids grow up.

Yes, equal rights would be mostly beneficial for women; but I just wish more people could see its potential for men as well.

Breasts and chests

A couple of years ago, I remember telling my boyfriend that I won't believe we have achieved equality until women are allowed to walk down the street topless, just as men are.

Of course, I know this sounds a bit ridiculous and it's going against what I have said previously about being rational, but it's true.

Some women have small boobs, some men have big boobs. There is no difference between them.

Except that women's bodies have been sexualised and subjugated.

We've all been convinced that our bodies are something to be ashamed of and hidden- women have even been ejected from parliament for (god forbid) breast-feeding their children.

Thankfully though, this issue is getting some attention after a photo on a magazine cover had to be hidden because the topless androgenous male featured was deemed to be inappropriate. You can read more about it here.

This quote sums the article up well:

"It’s not simply that breasts are considered pornographic. It’s that we’re afraid of women and femininity and female bodies and, if a man looks feminine enough, he becomes, by default, obscene."

According to one reader:

"our inability to show our breasts, even when breastfeeding, means that their sole purpose is as men’s sexual toys and should only be used as such."

I'm inclined to agree.

Other readers comments also revealed movement's against laws in other countries:

"Topfreedom is a cultural and political movement seeking to advance gender equality by the recognition of the right of women and girls to be topless in public on the same basis that men and boys are permitted to be barechested. In addition, topfreedom advocates seek recognition of the right of nursing mothers to openly breastfeed in public, and of women to sun bathe topless"

"It’s not illegal in Canada for women to go topless. That was settled years ago by a young woman named Gwen Jacob who took off her shirt on a hot summer day, was arrested and took the case all the way to the Supreme Court. As a result we can take our shirts off if we want. However, one still does not see bare breasts on/in non-porn magazines"

Maybe it's just Australia that's falling behind...

Women who write

I've just come across an article on Crikey addressing the reasons behind novels written by women going unread or unrecognised.

So interesting and so relevent.

It also made me realise that I am guilty of this myself. On my bursting-at-the-seams bookshelf, the only women featured are Anne Bronte, Harper Lee, Sylvia Plath and Charlotte Perkins Gilman.

Oops. Maybe I have some shopping to do.

You can find the article here.

Q and A

Next weeks episode of Q and A (on Monday at 9.35 pm, ABC) features "anti-porn feminist" Gail Dines.

For a taste of what to expect, there is an article on The Age website which can be read here.

Dines writes that:

The man "makes hate" to the woman, as each sex act is designed to deliver the maximum amount of degradation. Whether it be aggressive fellatio or violent sodomy, the goal of porn sex is to illustrate how much power he has over her. Yet the women are still portrayed as enjoying these scenes. Images like these are commonplace on the internet and shape the way men think about sex, relationships and intimacy.

Following the article are a few hundred readers comments. I like this delightful one in particular:

"When you've got a penis and male libido maybe you'll have a viewpoint worth hearing"

*sigh*

At the very least, Gail Dines appearance on Q and A promises to be interesting. I'll certainly be watching.

Here we go again...

How can anyone question the relevence of feminism today when stories like this keep coming up?

This controversy (and the readers comments which follow) has it all: Lack of choice, victim blaming, and outright sexism.

When will they learn?

Pay equality

Nearing the conclusion of The Friedan Project, I am excited that there is finally some happy news to report on.

The Fair Work Australia tribunal today found that the reason community service workers are paid less can be mostly attributed to the fact that the majority of workers are women.

While accepting that there are other factors contributing to the lower wages of community service workers, the tribunal did acknowledge that "gender has an important influence".

Overall, the tribunal concluded that:

"In order to give effect to the equal remuneration provisions in these complex circumstances, we consider that the proper approach is to attempt to identify the extent to which gender has inhibited wages growth in the SACS [social, disability and community services] industry and to mould a remedy which addresses that situation."

Maybe the feminist cause isn't lost after all.


I also found the following comment on the story interesting:

"The pay gap is about gender not only because "caring" work is often undervalued as women's work but also because when men enter this sector they rarely stay for long in frontline roles. Males are often quickly elevated to management (this is often their choice to avoid the wage penalties associated with frontline community services work); all you need to go to is a board of management meeting for a large NGO and you'll see the gender imbalance quickly disappears once we start talking proper salaries and conditions."

Hopefully these factors will also be taken into account when the tribunal later decides on how much should be added to the wages of those in the community service sector.

If you're interested in reading more about this exciting development, you can find the story here

SlutWalk update

Details for the Melbourne SlutWalk have been announced!

The Melbourne SlutWalk will be held on the 28th of May at 1pm begining outside the State Library.

Read more about it here or find it on facebook or twitter

Hope to see you there!

"Feminist" revisited

After a long, late-night phone call to my dad last night, I’ve gained a much better understanding of the perception of feminism and how this causes problems for many men.

Although my dad agreed that he was technically a feminist, when I asked about his perception of feminism he said the term ‘feminist’ wasn’t something many men like to use to describe themselves because it is “still a term attributed to women”.

He told me that “there is a backlash with males against feminism” and that in many cases feminism “generates animosity towards females”. He admitted that while the word ‘feminism’ will always be in use, it “doesn’t do the movement any good” because men see it as being “confrontational” and “extremist” and it makes it seem as though women’s problems are “all men’s fault”.

When confronted with feminism, he said, many men are likely to either “attack” or “shut it out”.

He offered the term “equalist” as a better alternative however I would argue that if the label ‘feminist’ isn’t going to go away anyway, maybe we just need to focus on changing the perception of it.

One way of doing this that comes to mind is for feminist to use less aggravating and ‘man-blaming’ language in favour of something that recognises that it isn’t men themselves that are at fault but the overarching social system- the patriarchy.

We need men on our side if we’re ever going to achieve anything and it is important that we keep this in mind when arguing for our rights. We might not be able to change the perception of the movement overnight, but it is in our best interests to at least try to make the movement less threatening and more accessible to everyone.

The 'industry' 2.0

I’ve written before about the sex industry being a trap for women, but putting an end to this exploitation won’t come about without help.

In Sweden, it is legal to sell sex acts, but in 1999 it was made illegal to buy them. This means that women aren’t being punished for the situation they have found themselves in but instead it is the men that are exploiting this by paying for sex acts that may find themselves faced with a fine or even up to six months in jail. This law has had important flow on effects, also leading to a decrease in the trafficking of women.

As well as punishing men, the law has also brought about changes for the sex workers themselves by making it easier than ever to escape from the “trap”. Women have access to counselling, accommodation, and even job training.

Unfortunately, the law hasn’t yet been adopted by many other countries (only Iceland and Norway so far) but on face value, it appears to be something which may be effective in Australia.

I know personally of one sex worker who is in the industry in order to provide for their family living overseas. With this law and the subsequent changes in the laws perception of sex workers, this person would be given access and training for jobs which would enable them to earn money without putting them at risk for sexual assault and all the other horrible things that the industry brings about.

The possibility of enacting a similar in Australia might not solve the problem but it would at least bring the issue into the spotlight. Maybe it’s something Australia should be thinking about...

Slutwalks

A Toronto policeman’s less-than-thoughtful comment to a group of school kids that “women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimised” has lead to worldwide protests. You can read more about it here and here.

In Australia, “Slutwalks” are being held in both Adelaide and Sydney and there are plans for others in other cities around the country.

It’s time we do something about victim-blaming and put the focus back onto who is really at fault.

Feminisms?

A couple of days ago, I was invited by my project supervisor to hear Alexandra Heller-Nicholas speak about her area of expertise: the depiction of sexual violence in rape-revenge films.

I found the whole seminar extremely interesting but because I am not exactly a fan of horror films (even most Disney movies are too scary for me!) it was more difficult to understand. However, one point Ms Heller-Nicholas made really stood out to me.

 Ms Heller-Nicholas suggested that we shouldn’t talk about feminism but feminisms. She claimed that “feminism isn’t a particular argument; it is a set of debates”, and “feminism is not singular, it is a plural idea”. In particular she said that the only thing that all feminists agree on is the idea of “gender difference as a site of power”.

In some ways, I think feminism is a lot like religion. Just like the way in which religions such as Christianity have a whole set of different denominations- so too does feminism. Some people don’t identify with a particular set of religious beliefs but take different things from different parts of religion and that’s just what feminists to do to.

I also think that the idea of feminism being a “set of debates” is just as important. Maybe the imperative thing isn’t having all feminists agree on a particular issue but having feminists openly and publicly debating issues. Surely just encouraging others to think about society differently will go some way to shaking up the patriarchy.

The idea of feminisms frustrates me, I must admit. I am used to having concrete definitions for the ideas I believe in and the fact that the different feminisms are so full of contradictions only makes things more difficult. But I think it’s just one of those things that takes a bit of getting used to. After all, it’s the part that we all agree upon that really matters to the cause.

The problem that has no name

One of my aims when starting this project was to properly analyse how far women's rights have progressed in order to figure out why everyone seems to think we have already achieved equality.

Because I don’t have a wealth of experience as a twenty-year-old, I think that perhaps the best way to explore these issues is to go back to when they were first argued for and dig into those classic feminist texts which adorn my bookshelf.

Betty Friedan’s The Feminine Mystique is my favourite because it really gives the reader a sense of what the world was like in the 50’s and 60’s. In fact, the 2010 Penguin Modern Classics edition includes an introduction by Lionel Shriver which sums it up perfectly:

“Friedan gave a voice to millions of women who had been suffering in silence, convinced that they alone were ungrateful or mentally disturbed. She provided women with a sense of solidarity, and reassurance that in finding the life of a housewife dreary, monotonous, and hauntingly empty that they had plenty of company”.

The opening chapter of the feminine mystique is where Friedan’s world really comes to life for me. In it, she addresses “the problem that has no name” and explores why women seem to have given up on “not just existing in and through others”. The women quoted in the chapter talk about feeling “empty” or as though they “don’t exist”. Many feel as though they are just going through the motions and doing “everything women are supposed to do”. Friedan concludes that:

“We can no longer ignore that voice within women that says: ‘I want something more than my husband and my children and my home’”

So if we really are living in an equal society now, this should all seem pretty foreign to me, right?

It doesn’t.

Even today, the “problem that has no name” is obvious amongst women. I know of many who have given up their dreams or careers to become a parent, only to find that it isn’t a fix for anything. Day after day they are bored, they long for that “something more” but don’t have the opportunities to get there.

I personally can’t imagine being completely fulfilled as housewife or mother. I need to exist for myself, not just for others. But don’t get me wrong, this doesn’t mean that I don’t want to be a mother, I do, but I never want to be just a mother.

Unfortunately, society doesn’t yet give us much choice- it has to be one or the other. A lack of affordable childcare, inflexible workplaces and the assumption that women should always be the primary caregiver are the precise reasons why the problem with no name still exists today.

All I can hope for are these problems to be solved before I have kids; otherwise I’ll probably end up experiencing Friedan’s world myself...

 

The sex industry

When I first got the idea of writing about feminism, I had a number of issues in mind that I wanted to address in the twelve weeks of doing the project. I also had one issue that I decided I wouldn’t write on- the sex industry. The reason for this being that I felt my opinions were too divided for me to be able to provide any sort of useful take on the issue.

I had always thought that the sex industry (porn, prostitution, stripping and “escort services”) was simply an exploitation of women- nothing more. Then, for one of my classes last year, we had a lecture on it which changed my view.

In the lecture, we were told about how the sex industry is good for women- that it is all about women embracing their sexuality, holding power over men, and having fun. We watched clips of porn stars talking about how empowered they were and how they relished having the right to exercise their choice and use their sexuality to get them what they want.

In doing my own research for this blog, I also found a lot of support from sex workers for this view. 

“I do miss the work, because of the power I had over men, to control men as they are weak.... like hunters we prey our victims..."tricks".

“If you have no problem having sex with random men I would encourage you to do this. Have sex and get paid, duh! No brainer”

“Sex is one of the most important things in my life and I get paid for it. Great stuff!”

“There's nothing quite like those airport bars! Always a selection of unattached men who already have a hotel room handy. If you're discrete not a bad way to make a few dollars while enjoying your favorite hobby!”

After this I didn’t really know what to think. On one hand, I still felt like the women were being exploited, but on the other hand it seemed like the sex industry was helping to give power BACK to women.

My research also revealed a lot of firsthand accounts of “the dark side” of the sex industry.

“During my first encounter with prostitution he raped me and told me that no one would ever care because I was nothing but a "******" hooker now.  After that I entered a depression and began to use marijuana everyday and tried crack cocaine for a time.”

“Eventually, the glamour wore off for me and I found myself hating myself more than ever. I have always had issues with men, and thought that by getting paid for men to come and sleep with me- that I was in control of them finally. Well, in reality the money was in control of me and it just became a continuous cycle for 2 years. Besides the money there is nothing glamorous about being a prostitute (you never will be Julia Roberts in "Pretty woman"). I do have to say that I have come across some great clients, but the ******** and disgusting creeps by far outweigh that. It was never fun having to spread my legs or suck some older man off and be treated like a piece of **** for 2 years”

“I hate it. I find intercourse repulsive, especially by mouth (which clients want of me most of the time). I feel polluted.  I hate myself for selling my body, for turning into what they always said I was in order to escape from them”

Once again, The Equality Illusion (2010) also provided an interesting insight. Research has found that 68% of sex workers have post-traumatic stress disorder as a result of their work. This rate is comparable to that of rape victims. As many as 82% of sex workers have been abused in childhood and  up to 70% of sex workers began working in the sex industry before the age of 18. Sadly, the cause of 50% of the deaths of sex workers is murder.

Kat Banyard also described the sex industry in the following way:

“A person (usually a man) can access a sexual interaction with someone (usually a woman) who doesn’t want to have it with him”

Finally, I’ve been able to make up my own mind: The women working in the sex industry aren’t doing so because they love sex. If that was the case, men wouldn’t have to pay them for it. Women are working in the sex industry because they need money, or drugs, and because they have been made to think that sex is the only thing that makes them worth something. Many, if not most, have survived horrific childhoods and abusive relationships. They turned to the sex industry to take back some of the power, only to find themselves more powerless than ever.

Many feminists support the sex industry because they support women making their own choices, but what they don’t acknowledge is that women caught in the trap of the sex industry really don’t have any choice. I feel like we’ve all been brainwashed to accept the view that the sex industry is a good thing for women and feminists alike- but I’m not buying it anymore.

 

Firsthand accounts were taken from http://www.experienceproject.com/group_stories.php?g=126452

Interesting links

Following on from my blog on victim-blaming, feminist website Ms Magazine has exposed the flaws in the FBI's definition of "rape"- read about it here.


Also on the victim-blaming theme, I found another article on the Ms Magazine website which dealt with a woman who was charged with making a false report after reporting a rape.


On a different note, a writer on Australian independent news website Crikey has also responded to an article printed on the Herald Sun website which suggested that women can't be funny. The original review (which has since been changed) can be read here and the Crikey response can be found here


Happy reading :)

In France earlier this week, a law came into effect banning people from covering their face in public. Of course, those who are most affected by this new law are those who wear the niqab.

For a feminist perspective on the issue, I recommend the following articles:

• http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2010/07/14/banning-the-veil-loving-the-face/
• http://msmagazine.com/blog/blog/2011/04/14/frances-sham-veil-ban/

I’m not an expert on religion so I don’t want to dig too deeply into the issue, but for the record- I don’t support the law. Although some may claim that the law is helping to restore freedom in the lives of these women, the reality is that it is taking away their right to make their own choices. It is also very likely that those women who have been forced to cover their face in public will no longer be allowed out of the house.

This is one case where legislating on women's rights (albeit implicitly) is wrong.

Victim blaming

There are two main issues that have been raised by the current Australian Defence Force scandal- victim blaming and the role of women in the defence force. I’ll address these issues separately beginning with the phenomenon of victim blaming.

In no other crime, other than crimes against women, is victim blaming so acceptable and so prominent. I can’t imagine reading about a murder and have the journalist or public contend that the deceased “should have been more careful”. So why then, is this the case in rape and sexual assault incidents?

Today’s society portrays violence as being an integral part of masculinity. Both violence and rape are seen to be innate biological drives of which a man has little control. As a result of this, women are lumped with all the responsibility. It is they who must be careful with what they wear, who they associate with, and what their body language may “suggest”. It doesn’t even need to be said that that if a woman chooses to drink she automatically looses all traces of credibility in they eyes of the media and the public if something does happen to her.

The current scandal plaguing the ADF involves the non-consensual filming and broadcasting of consensual sex. Many have jumped at the chance to blame the victim including Bob Ellis who wrote the following...

“Is the young man to be sacked from the army now, and ruined, or wounded, or bruised, perhaps, for life? Driven, perhaps, to suicide, as young army men so often are? Is his crime, of going along with an undergraduate prank, so great?

Is the young woman, moreover, to be named, and acclaimed, and promoted, and hereafter entrusted with frontline command on some field of battle? Who would trust her in any high army position? Who would be sure she was truthful? Or sound of judgment? Or loyal? Or reliable under fire?”^

All this does is expose this society for what it really is: downright unequal.

Not in this case or any other should the victim be automatically be judged to be at fault. Instead, the blame should rest entirely on the person who commits the crime.

Research by the British government has found that 36% of people think that the victim should be held at least partially responsible for being raped if she was drinking, and 26% think she is to blame if she was wearing sexy clothes*. It is myths like these that are behind the reason for so many rapists walking free from prosecution and why many more rapes go unreported.

Finally, the claim that men are not in control of their urges can easily be debunked. Research has found that 55% of rapists can be classified as “power rapists”- those who use rape as a demonstration of their masculinity. 40% are “anger rapists” who intend to hurt and humiliate their victim*. Rape doesn’t happen because men are not in control, it happens because they want to prove that they are in control by dominating women with their “masculinity”.

If our society is as free and equal as so many think, people wouldn’t be blaming victims and defending rape as being something natural and uncontrollable that women need to protect themselves from. Until these kinds of crimes are dealt with properly equality is still far beyond our reach.

If you’re interested in tracking the ADF cadet sex scandal that has been unfolding over the past few days, I’ve found the following link to be very helpful: http://www.news.com.au/features/adfa/defence-force-cadet-scandal-senior-officers-accused-of-male-rape/story-fn8eum6d-1226036914555

^ The full article can be read here: http://www.abc.net.au/unleashed/56470.html

*As cited in The Equality Illusion, Kat Banyard, 2010

On my way to the supermarket...

About an hour ago I was walking down my street by myself on the way to the supermarket. Being a Sunday, the street was quiet and empty, except for a group of four men in their thirties standing in a group around the footpath. As I walked past, every one of them turned and very obviously “checked me out”.

I can’t even begin to tell you how scared and vulnerable I felt. In my own street, just minutes from my house I was terrified.

I’m not going to deny that I don’t look at men but I have NEVER made an intentionally obvious effort to look at someone like that. I have never wolf whistled at someone and I have never called out lewd comments to someone.

I’m nothing special, but these things happen to me all the time.

Once, a boy no older than nine standing with his MOTHER yelled to me at a crowded train station “nice legs lovey, what time do they open?”

It is this sort of harassment that works to convince girls that they are intrinsically weak, that they need protection, and they will only ever be ok when they have a husband to look after them.

I am sick of being too scared to be alone in public. I am sick of being too scared to be outside after dark. And I am REALLY sick of people thinking that I should be taking this harassment as some sort of a compliment. Why should I? It was never intended as a compliment and it certainly didn’t make me feel good.

Apart from making me feel vulnerable, all this harassment does is remind me how blind people are to the inequalities in our society. Shouldn’t I have the same right to feel safe as any man does? Shouldn’t I be admired for the fact I actually have some sort of intellectual capacity rather than for the fact I happen to wear a DD bra?

Girls are being taught to enjoy this disgusting attention and are learning that being something to be looked at is all that they will ever be good for. Even nine year old boys are learning to see women as nothing but objects (what the HELL was that boys’ mother THINKING?).

The people who keep denying the existence of sexism in Australia in 2011 obviously aren’t looking for it because it is everywhere. It’s not just in my street- it’s in their street, and their homes, and their workplaces. Until people start opening their eyes to this, women still won’t be able to go to the supermarket without having to come home and blog about it.